I am excited to be a part of this wonderful Re-launch :)
There's something really special about this time of year when you're a writer of paranormal mysteries and horror...
Monday October 29, 3:15 PM, in a writer’s sun-dappled kitchen, two days before the best holiday of the year. AJ "Writerghoulie" Aalto lies spread-eagle on the floor in a pool of blood, drumming her fingernails against the tile, humming the theme song for Ghostbusters.
The front door opens with a bang, and she falls still, staring at the ceiling. Her kids throw themselves into the house with gusto, voices overlapping, drop-kicking their backpacks in the hall. Their sneakers come to squeaking halts in the kitchen.
Derek: SO fake, mom.
Me: Aw, come on. At least give me props for the pigs' blood. It cost me $14.95.
Jenny: *grand eye roll*
Derek: Yeah, but there’s not even any worms, mom.
Jenny: They’re called maggots, Derek, and she’d have to have been dead a day for first instar maggots to be present.
Me: Nice work, junior investigator. Ten points for Jennifer. But hark! What worm through yonder gut wound wiggles? *letting candy peek from pocket*
Derek: Gummy worms! Can I eat one?
Jenny: Ugh. Dead-people worms.
Me: No, you can't eat the worms off your mother's corpse. What's wrong with you, child?
Jenny: Seriously? What's wrong with HIM, mom?
Derek: Didn’t you save me any gummy worms?
Jenny: Wait!! ….*grabs her brother's arm, points* Why are her eyes all funny?
Me: *grin* …. *slap-drags across the floor* … *gurgle*
Jenny: Dare-bear, we missed a clue!
Derek: *eyes widening* Oh no… FREAK-O CONTACTS!
Jenny: Mom was eviscerated by a ZOMBIE.
Me: *growl* Eviscerated. Five points for Jennifer!
Derek: She’s getting uuuuuuup! Where's my nerf gun? Shoot her in the head!
Me: Ha! Head shot. *snarl, snicker* Ten points for Derek!
Jenny: We're out of time! Run! Go! Go now!
Me: Brrraaaaaaaiiiiinnnnns….. *hangs several gummy worms from mouth* Braaaaiiins!
Both kids run shrieking and laughing into the street, yelling about zombie-Mom. I give a shambling chase, hanging my arms in mid-air like I’m auditioning for Night of the Living Dead 2: Zombies take Suburbia. If captured, both kids will be hugged and infected by Zombie-mom smooches of death! Rawr.
~Writerghoulie would like to wish everyone a safe and spooky Halloween! Have fun, and be careful. Best. Holiday. Ever.~
Get "Touched, Book One of the Marnie Baranuik Files" for yourKindle.
Nefarious acts by the Super-villain on a Leash at A.J AaltoConnect with AJ on Facebook or Twitter. Then maybe have your head examined, kookpie.
ABOUT THE AUTHORAJ Aalto is the author of Touched, first in the paranormal mystery series The Marnie Baranuik Files. Aalto is an unrepentant liar and a writer of blathering nonsense offset by factual gore. When not working on her novels, you can find her singing old Monty Python songs in the shower, eavesdropping on perfect strangers, stalking her eye doctor, or failing at one of her many fruitless hobbies. Generally a fan of anyone with a passion for the ridiculous, she has a particular weak spot for smug pseudo-intellectuals and narcissistic jerks; readers will find her work littered with dark, imperfect creatures, flawed monsters and oodles of snark. Touched is available for Kindle or Nook.
AJ cannot say no to a Snickers bar, and has been known to swallow her gum.
The media has a nickname for Marnie Baranuik, though she’d rather they didn’t; they call her the Great White Shark, a rare dual-talented forensic psychic. Twice-Touched by the Blue Sense--which gives her the ability to feel the emotions of others, and read impressions left behind on objects--Marnie also has a doctorate in preternatural biology and a working knowledge of the dark arts. She is considered without peer in the psychic community.
Then her first big FBI case ended with a bullet in one shoulder and a chip on the other, a queasy heart and a serial killer in the wind, leaving her a public flop and a private wreck. When the FBI’s preternatural crimes unit tracks her down at a remote mountain lodge for her insight on a local case, her quiet retirement is promptly besieged by a stab-happy starlet, a rampaging ghoul, and a vampire-hunting jackass in tight Wranglers. Marnie figures the only real mystery is which one will kill her first.
Too mean to die young, backed up by friends in cold places, and running with a mouth as demure as a cannon’s blast, Marnie Baranuik is about to discover that there’s no such thing as quitting time when you’re Touched.
Okay so let me start off by saying that this review is going to be unusually short.. The reason you ask?? Well, because I happened to like it so much that I do not want to unintentionally give anything away. What genre is Touched? That my dears is a good question. It is a little of everything. Romance, Comedy, Paranormal, Horror, you name it Touched has it. So yeah it spans multiple genres and I think everyone could find something to love about this book. I am actually surprised that I haven't came across this book before now. I am also ashamed to say that if i hadn't been asked to take a look at it I may never have had the great priveledge to read it. I laughed, I smiled, I spooked, and I laughed again. Marnie is a really great character. I found myself relating to her on a different level. We both have that way of talking in our own way...Does that even make sense? That's why I'm not a writer---I'm a reader :) marnie is her own person, she has her own way of doing things, and saying things and I think you all will really enjoy her in this book. This is a fast paced-action packed and kind of crazy at times book. So just sit back, enjoy the ride and let me know what you think when you get done :) I know I was super surprised and I can't wait to see what A.J Aalto has in store for us next.